Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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