no, he came in my armpit
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
