she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
