It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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