Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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