its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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