My first STD was from a foam party
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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