I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
