Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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