Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
