bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
