we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
