just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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