oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
