Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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