she was so not down for the gang bang
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need water and some morals
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
