I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
