You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
