Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
please don't ironically join a cult
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