i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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