woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
