I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
