Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize