Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
