We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
