I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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