So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize