I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
