i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
