I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
