The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
