Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
