party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize