guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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