this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
