finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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