I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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