my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
