That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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