So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Even my vagina gasped.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
