Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
