Are we in a gay sports bar?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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