This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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