And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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