So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize