you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
