I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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