East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
