someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
