What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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