i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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