I puked a lego.
dude i'm inner monologue high
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
