put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
