girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
