dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
