No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize