i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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