when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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