Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
