did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize