So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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