Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
