she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
