You smell like a Billy Joel song
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
