She said her name was "party"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
