i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
