if i can run in heels then i can drive
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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