it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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