plz talk dirty to me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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