that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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