Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
false alarm, still single
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
