Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
