The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
