She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize