I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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