I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize