You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
