Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
