my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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