): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
