Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
