The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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